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This essay is an attempt to list the many small changes that can transform a life and to give some examples of these changes. Most people do not realize just how significant their personal decisions and actions are and how they can influence other people – for better or for worse – simply by following one rule below: You always have a choice. What we choose we create as well as the consequences of those choices. If you want to be happy, choose love rather than fear, trust instead of suspicion, forgiveness instead of revenge; however these things may also cause conflict with others unless this new choice is communicated clearly. Disagreements with others are the hardest to resolve. It is almost impossible to change someone else’s mind once it is set in opposition to what you are trying to say. When you begin to love another person, your life will never be the same again because that person will be at the center of your existence, for better or for worse. No matter how much you try to maintain balance, you will find yourself being pulled away from following your chosen path by any number of other people who have their own agendas and goals which may not also benefit them or the person you want to help. Love is a powerful force which you cannot control. The thought of losing another person is agonizing and when it happens it can be very upsetting. Our choices have much to do with the kind of relationships we have with other people in our life. Consequently, if we want to have loving, healthy relationships with others then we need to choose them carefully and think about how these choices will affect us or others through a process called projection which means that a thought, feeling or idea is projected onto someone else in order for us to feel better about our own thoughts. For example, after being hurt by someone in our past, we may choose someone else who reminds us of this person and project our feelings onto them, only to find out later that the second person is nothing like the first one. People change. You may be quite happy with someone today and feel they are exactly the kind of person you would like in your life; however this may change in less than a year when they no longer fit your expectations. It is impossible to know what motives others have for what they say or do because their thinking or intentions are never identical to yours. This can create many problems in personal relationships which, if left unsolved, can be quite devastating to the parties involved. Sometimes you may feel like giving up on your relationships when it seems like nothing is working. There are many things you can do to make the relationship work, but sometimes they may continue to go wrong for quite some time before either the relationship improves of the person involved leaves. It is hard to let go of someone or something that makes us unhappy because we feel that if we just hang on long enough then eventually they will change their behavior around us and treat us differently. The truth is this never happens. If people are not treating us in ways that are healthy or if they are continually violating our boundaries or hurting us, then there is no way to get them to change even if you keep trying endlessly. cfa1e77820
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